The Three Goddesses

The Three Goddesses

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August 14, 2005

Releasing The Past
LESSON 124 from Living with Siva

The older we get, the more memories we have, and those memories contain
emotion--both positive emotion and negative emotion. Emotion takes many
forms. We can have happy emotions, we can have sad emotions, we can have
emotions of depression, we can have emotions of elation, we can have
emotions of discouragement, we can have emotions of encouragement. As
you go over your life, reliving it year by year, writing it all down from
year one to the present, ten pages per year, you are the author of your
own script. You are the star upon the stage of your own life. You may
run into happy emotion, discouraging emotion, encouraging emotion. It's
good to get rid of it all. If you uncover a period of your life that
makes you depressed, then you have been carrying that depression around
with you for many, many years. Reliving the depression and the unhappy
feelings as you write about the experiences in detail and burn the paper
unwinds and releases the pranic emotional energy from each memory. You
especially want to deal with the traumatic areas of the inner mind and
release the discouragement, the regret, the depression, the loss of
faith in humanity, the loss of faith in yourself and all those negative
emotions that you've been carrying for so many years. They will go away
like paper dragons. They will disappear.

You have three kinds of prana inside of you: spiritual, intellectual and
instinctive. When you think, you make or cause a motion in that prana
and create a form of prana. You speak, laugh, cry, think and interact
with others; all this is the use and movement of one kind of prana or
another, or a mixture of the three. In the inner mind, the subconscious
pranic forms have a color and a corresponding sound when they vibrate with
emotion, not unlike a Technicolor production. The purpose of this ancient
tantra is to remove the color/sound from the memory pattern so that the
memory would appear as a black-and-white silent movie when revisited,
without the vivid, vibrating emotion. Your life, in moving and creating
with the prana inside of you, can be like writing on water. An experience
happens and it just goes away, without residue, without attachment,
without lingering emotion. Or your life can be like carving in stone;
each experience remains with you, embedded in memory by the impact of
emotion. As you look back through the pages of your life, you want to
melt the stone, break it up and make it go away. That's the whole idea,
regardless of what the motion is of the mind. The stones in your past are
generally the surprise things that come along in life. Living a routine
life--you go to work and you come home, and one day is pretty much the
same as another--does not produce memories with emotions so much. But
then you come to a major change, such as moving to a new home, or some
new person coming into your life. That makes a big impact, and you have
to deal with it. Like many people, you may deal with these things by
packing them away: "I don't want to think about that anymore." "I don't
like that person" or, "I like that person," but you are married so you
can't like him or her too much; so you just pack it away and try not to
think about it anymore. Those are some of the things you want to dig up
and discharge, to break up the patterns.

Each of us has a story. You are the major actor on the stage of your
life, playing the script that you wrote. You are the director and you are
the lighting engineer, the stage manager, costume designer and make-up
artist. When a particular experience or pattern of experience is repeated
over a long period, it creates in the sub of the subconscious mind a
latent tendency or propensity in that same direction. This is a vasana,
which may be positive, shubha, or negative, ashubha. A negative vasana
is like a subconscious motor that makes you do things you later wish you
had not done. A positive vasana brings success and good fortune. Through
the vasana daha tantra, we withdraw the energy from the memories, and
in so doing weaken, even destroy, the pathways or vasanas that led us
to the experiences that created the negative memories and leave in place
the pure, positive vasanas that will continue to create a positive future.

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